


Observe

by fickhuck



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mikey's a sad child, Pining, Underage Drinking, at one point Mikey can't breath and it's not fun, but I changed it because you guys will attack me if you cry, it was super sad, poor Mikey, the summary sucks but still, what a sad child, yikes this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 20:26:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13865391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fickhuck/pseuds/fickhuck
Summary: Mikey has seen his brother's whole life without him realizing.





	Observe

**Author's Note:**

> okay. I meant this to be a lot sadder, but after I read it over I thought "I CAN'T PUT THIS ON THE INTERNET PEOPLE WILL KILL ME" so I changed it and it's less sad. this was just an idea that's been hovering around my head for a while, and now it's on the internet. this is sorta for my friend billie, because she needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET HER SHIT TOGETHER, AND GET THAT GODDAMN GAWSTEN FIC DONE. okay. love you tho child<3\. also, as a precaution, IT'S NOT WAYCEST I SWEAR BUT MIKEY LOVES HIS BROTHER LIKE A BROTHER CALM DOWN EVERYTHING IS FINE. okay. enjoy:)

Mikey had watched his brother his whole life.

Mikey watched as his brother headed off for his first day of kindergarten. He loved his brother, and couldn't wait to go to school with him.

Mikey watched as his brother got beat up on the playground by a big scary kid. Gerard was 9. Mikey was 6.

Mikey watched as his brother came home one day with bruises up his ribs. "I'm fine", he'd said when Mikey had asked.

Mikey watched as his brother went to high school, wearing eyeliner and old misfits teeshirts. Mikey wanted to do that too.

Mikey watched as his brother became less and less happy, spending more time alone, and less time with his brother. It hurt. Mikey was 13.

Mikey watched as his brother staggered into the front hall at 3am, drunk. Mikey had been getting a snack.

Mikey watched as his brother puked his guts out over the toilet. Mikey held his hair back, and whispered comforting words into his ear.

Miley watched as his brother was taken into hospital, an oxygen tank wheeling along beside him. He'd tried to kill himself. Mikey was 14.

Mikey watched as Gerard taught him how to do his eyeliner. Gerard was being patient with him, even though Mikey didn't stay still for long.

Miley watched his brother sing the opening lines of Rocky Horror for the millionth time. Mikey knew the words, too.

Mikey watched his brother pack up his things and leave for art school, whispering, "I'll be back, Mikes." Mikey was 15.

Mikey watched his brother talk about some guy he'd met called Ray. They wanted to start a band together. Mikey was taking bass lessons at the time.

Mikey watched as his brother got taken into the hospital again. He had drunk too much.

Mikey watched as his brother slept peacefully in the hospital bed. Gerard didn't know that Mikey had been awake for four days, waiting for him to wake up. When Gerard did wake up, all he said was "Mikey, I'm sorry." before he drifted back to sleep again. Mikey was 16.

Mikey watched his brother panic and call the ambulance, because Mikey couldn't fucking breathe. Mikey didn't want to die. Mikey was 19.

Mikey watched his brother sleep fitfully in the plastic chair beside his hospital bed. Mikey though about waking him up, but decided not to.

Mikey watched his brother talk passionately about his art, waving his arms around and looking excited. Mikey was glad that Gerard had found his talent. Mikey was 20.

Mikey watched his brother move back into the basement, and he had said that he needed a place for the band to practice. They'd found a drummer. Mikey was 21.

Mikey watched his brother ask him if he wanted to join his band. Mikey said yes.

Mikey watched his brother write songs for hours on end whilst Mikey practiced his bass for a week straight.

Mikey watched as his brother introduced him to Ray, a cool guy with an afro, Bob, their drummer, and Frank, a short tattooed hyper little fucker with a tendency to get really gay on stage.

Mikey watched as Gerard asked if they were ready to release their first album. They all said yes.

Mikey watched Gerard closely at their celebratory club-going, making sure he didn't get too drunk and do stupid stuff with Frank.

Mikey watched Gerard fall into a pit of drugs and alcohol, and Mikey followed. Mikey didn't mean to. He'd just been subconsciously following Gerard everywhere his whole life. But where he followed Gerard, he didn't necessarily come back from.

Mikey watched as Gerard slowly fell in love with Frank. Mikey had known it would happen. He just didn't want to see Gerard heartbroken.

Mikey watched Gerard kiss Frank more times than he could count. Mikey hoped that Frank was kissing back.

Mikey watched as Gerard fell even deeper in love with Frank. He was so far gone, that Mikey was sure that he would break if Frank didn't love him back.

Mikey watched Gerard cry into Mikey's shoulder. Mikey didn't know why Gerard was sad, but he comforted him all the same.

Mikey watched as his brother waited to marry Lyn-z. Mikey finally smiled at his brother’s happiness.

Mikey watched Frank marry Jaima. Mikey knew this would break Gerard’s heart a little, even if Gerard had Lyn-z.

Mikey watched Gerard hold Bandit, a look of pure joy on his face. The way Gerard cradled his daughter made her seem like the most precious thing in the world.

Mikey watched as his brother told them they needed to break the band. “Break the band or break me.” he’d said. They broke the band.

Mikey watched his brother grow up from when they were children to now, when Gerard has a comic, and is happy with his wife and children. He loves his brother, always will. He was always there for him, always the shoulder, always the rock, always the mid-puking hair holder, always the person to confide in. He knew all of Gerard’s secrets, and Gerard knew all of his.

Mikey had watched his brother his whole life.

Mikey just wanted Gerard to watch him.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a very long Gawsten/Gawstto fic in the works guys, like it's 48k long and there is no end in sight. AGH. everything in my life is happening very fast, and it's all a little overwhelming. thanks for taking time out of your day to read what I wrote though. it makes me very happy when people enjoy something I'm proud of. kudos and comments are appreciated, they make my world a bit brighter. stay safe, drink water, don't get hit by a car, don't hurt yourself. thank you<3


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